Reckoning

Hey, there, readers! What’s up? What do you think of this not-so-great rainy fall weather we’re having here in Connecticut? How ’bout them (insert your favorite football team’s name here)?

……..

Cough, cough.

……..

Well, look at me. Trying to be all cool and nonchalant like I haven’t ignored this blog for like a year. Okay, maybe just a few months. Okay, really just a couple of weeks but still. It felt like an eternity. To me at least.

Right now, there are a million other things I should be doing. Working, budget planning, meal planning, stuff I need to do for church, stuff I need to do to plan my dad’s birthday party, cleaning my bathrooms, washing dishes, watching the most recent episode of Castle…well, okay. That last one is not a “should” so much as a “wish I could.” And really, I make it a point not to have too many TV shows on my “can’t live without” list, but Castle is soooooo one of the few. If you haven’t seen it yet, make an appointment to start…you know what? I’m procrastinating. Drifting away from the key point: my absence.

So, as many other “shoulds” as I have in my head right now, as overwhelmed as I might feel about all the things on my to-do list, the blog had to be prioritized today, because I’ve been kind of a jackass. A big, fat, absent jackass.

Listen, there was a lot on my calendar this month. Some of it I managed well with regard to events and food, and some of it I royally screwed the pooch on.

Let’s talk a week and a half ago. I had a work conference from Sept 30-Oct 3, and it was like a mini-vacay for me. If you’re a mom, you might understand why–even though you are on your feet, running around in heels from 7am-8:30pm for 3 days straight at a conference that your team hosts and manages–having a hotel room utterly to yourself is a tiny slice of heaven. Just for three nights. No one to nag about getting dressed so they don’t miss the bus. No one flushing the toilet and/or arguing over who gets to go down the stairs first while you are trying to take a shower. No one to worry about but yourself, just for a few days. HEAVEN.

I also got to be a little bit fancy, like this:

This is fancy, for me. I’m all important and stuff, with my lanyard and camera, tweeting from my phone. Or, possibly playing Words with Friends. It’s hard to say. But still.

Knowing also that my company puts on a pretty swank “all you can eat and drink” kinda conference, I treated this like a vacation and planned to commence vacation eating mode upon arrival. It’s been on my calendar for six months as a splurge.

pretzel with mustard
THIS was the afternoon snack one day.

Following closely on the heels of this was our annual family Columbus Day weekend trip to Vermont for leaf-peeping and traditional visits to some of our favorite places:

Cold Hollow Cider Mill…OMG THE CIDER DONUTS!

kids at Cold Hollow
Turkeys.

…and the hot cider!

apple cider
Granted, this cider is technically clean…nothin’ but apples. But when you drink a shit ton of it, well…it’s a problem. And I might have drank like, two shit tons.

Cabot Creamery (hellloooooo, free cheese samples! I did not include pictures of the free cheese samples as I do not wish to be seen licking my computer screen at work) and the Ben & Jerry’s Factory (no explanation needed).

ben & jerry's
WE LOVE ICE CREAM!!!

This, too, was a planned splurge weekend.

I was fine with having these two splurges so close together. I planned them, and also planned a super strict two week period immediately following to get my sorry cheese-loving ass back on track.

Look at me, all organized and dedicated and stuff.

HAAAA, yeah right. Because I royally sucked during in-between days. The days in which technically I could have and most certainly should have been eating squeaky clean like a good fat girl.

That is so NOT what happened. In fact, I started my “conference splurge” about 36 hours before actually leaving for the conference (cough, cough), and then proceeded to just joyeat my way through the entire week, up until yesterday.

We’re talking a solid 10 days of eating and drinking whateverthehellIwant.

So here I am now. Bloated in my gut, and fairly disgusted with myself. Oh, hello, I’ve been here before. *sigh*

It’s time for a reckoning. Time for me to put this stumble behind me, recommit, and start moving forward again.

I created my meal plan, and am reading through some of my old posts to re-invigorate myself.

I’m revisiting my own 3 questions  method, so you can expect to see some goals based on that in the next few days, and an invitation to join me in a challenge. (Ooooooh. Mysterious!)

Looking back on my calendar, I’m also reminded that it was exactly six months ago today–April 9– that I committed to this journey to myself and an awesome badass friend who agreed to be my clean eating and training buddy. It seems both fitting and auspicious that today–October 9–should be the day that I recommit to continuing to move forward instead of stagnating.

For now, here are my commitments:

  • 100% clean and portioned eating from now, through October 19 (planned dinner out with friends): no beer, no cheese, no sugar. To my Tuff Girls: this does NOT mean I won’t see you Friday…it only means I’ll drink water and enjoy your company instead of eating and drinking. I’m also happy to be anyone’s DD!
  • 5 workouts a week, pushing myself to do more than I’ve done in the past (keep me honest, trainers and friends!)

Now, it’s time to get back to work and focus my attention on all my “should-do’s.” And maybe watch Castle.

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