Three questions to change your life. Part two.

So after reading yesterday’s post about figuring out exactly what you want, and setting your goals in clear, specific and certain terms, you want to know what the next question is. Right on. But buckle yourself in, because it’s a tough one:

What are you willing to do to get what you want?

Let me ask this one in a bunch of different ways: What are you willing to sacrifice? How hard are you willing to work? What are you willing to commit to in order to make your goals a reality?

And there’s the rub, peeps. This is it. The sticking point. Where the rubber meets the road. Where the shit hits the fan. Where the chicken meets the egg. Or whatever.

Despite the mixed metaphors, you get my point: this is the place where most people fall down, and here’s why: yesterday, it might have taken you a little while to really dig deep inside and figure out exactly what you want, but then all you had to do was write it down or say it out loud.

Goals

Today, today…I’m telling you that you need to determine–honestly–what you need to do to get it, and to admit to yourself–honestly–if you’re willing to take the needed actions.

Notice I didn’t say “able” to take the needed actions; I said “willing.” This is not a question of “Can I do it?” It’s a question of “Will I do it?” (Because I know you can do it.)

Frankly, this is the point where most people piss me off, usually by saying stuff that annoys the crap out of me. Like this:

  • Where do you find the time to do all those workouts?
  • Oh, I could never do the kinds of things you do.
  • I’m not sure I could stick to clean eating; I love chocolate/cupcakes/pizza/whatever too much

Wait. Let me be more precise. It’s not people saying these things that pisses me off; it’s when they combine them with phrases like, “I wish I could do what you do. I wish I could lose weight. I just can’t because…(insert 50 lameass excuses here.)”

My answer to those people? “It’s not that you can’t, it’s just that you haven’t decided you WANT to.”

I mean, really. Do these people think I have more hours in the day than them? Some special gift that makes this shit easier for me? HELLOOO!! I’m just an average person, working my ass off to reach my goals, and it is HARD.

I legit find it insulting when people say this kind of crap, like I am somehow privileged or lucky to be reaching my goals. Nope, sorry. It’s hard work and dedication (bordering on obsession, yes. I acknowledge that. But that’s what I need to do to get there.)

Don’t get me wrong…I’m not saying everyone should have the same exact goals as me, fitness or otherwise, because we each have our own path to follow.  Hopefully you’ve defined that for yourself a bit better by figuring out what you want.

But don’t SAY you want something, and then give a bunch of reasons why you can’t get it. If that’s what’s happening, YOU DON’T WANT IT BAD ENOUGH! (Yes, I yelled at you. But you needed it, and I did it out of love. Now go take it off your list of things you want, or stop making excuses and DO IT.)

If you want it bad enough, there’s nothing you won’t do to get it. No sacrifice you won’t make, no challenge you won’t overcome. You’ll have to make hard choices and do hard work. I know you are able; are you willing?

hard work

So let’s talk sacrifices and hard work in terms of my personal goals. Here’s what I, personally, have committed to:

  • 5 or 6 seriously tough workouts a week, usually at 5:30 or 6am
  • clean eating, 90% of the time
  • a monthly financial investment in my health
  • continuing at a job I like a lot, but don’t love…and putting in extra hours on my own to work towards my bigger career goals (perfect example: I’m typing this on my lunch break!)

What am I sacrificing? A lot.

  • my warm, snuggly bed at 4:45am (this is a muuuuuuch bigger sacrifice in the winter months!)
  • endless slices of cake/pizza, cookies, cheeseburgers, and other delicious foods I love on a regular basis (in fact, at a recent birthday party, I had to turn down a slice of a-mah-zing looking cake THREE TIMES!)
  • a new car to replace my nearly 10 year old banged up old Jetta–which does not have a radio, and is generally embarrassing to drive–because it gets me from A to B at this point and to afford the new car, I’d have to cut back on my fitness costs (right now, NOT an option)
  • family time on Saturday mornings and Sunday evenings

There’s definitely more to this list; these are just what immediately come to mind.

The list above also represents things I want, but I have judged that something else is more important. What is  most important to you? How will you prioritize your fitness goals with your career goals and your family goals, etc. etc.? The answers to those questions make up YOUR journey, not mine, and you get to decide.

But do decide; don’t just slop around like a lazy ass and “wish” that you could make your life better. DECIDE, and DO.

Here’s an example: Imagine you came up to me right now and said, “Hey, Nash, I freakin’ LOVE cake. I am going to eat it every day because this is my life and I choose to live it with cake. If that means I am going to have a muffin top/fat ass/thunder thighs/floppy back-of-arm jiggle for the rest of my life, SO BE IT. I will have CAKE, and it is worth it!”

chocolate cake
Come to me, my delicious friend. (No, I definitely did NOT just lick the screen. Shut up.)

That would be hilarious, but then you know what? I would high-five you and be like, “Word. Way to own your choices! Have some cake for me, and make sure you cross ‘rock-hard abs’ off of your list of goals and replace it with ‘eat cake daily.’ And rock on!”

As amazing as cake is, as much as I want a piece like RIGHT NOW, I can’t let anything take my focus away from my current top priority goal.

Oh look, a little quote image that sums up my meaning. You know how much I love those!

what you want most

(I really want a new car NOW. Sigh.)

Okay, that’s it. You know what you need to do. Work it out: review those goals, and figure out what lengths you are willing to go to so you can achieve each of them. Maybe some of them invite a more cautious, long-term approach, and others are so important that you need to jump on them with every fiber of your being (we’ll talk about that another day).

But today, YOU get to decide. So do it, and get to work.

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3 thoughts on “Three questions to change your life. Part two.

  1. Steph, seriously why did you have to post that piece of cake? (and where the hell did i stash that emergency cliff bar?) This hit everything dead on, you arent going to get anywhere by wishing and hoping. (By the way you really owned that workout today!)

    Im with you on the car thing, my headlight is falling out, my car is a piece of shit but i’d rather spend the money on the gym and clean unproccessed food than save to buy a new car? why? because my car isnt going to make me LOOK thin. Working my ass off with a team of women who support me WILL.

    Awesome post, cant wait for tomorrow!

    • Thanks, Taylor! I actually searched for awhile on google images to find the perfect, most luscious looking piece of chocolate cake, lol!

      Yes! Way to prioritize clean eating and serious sweating over a new car!

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